Let’s take a poll! Who wants to hang out with this lovely gaggle of ladies for dinner on me? …Anybody? Any takers? No?
A few questionable shower invitations have been posted on this site - as well as this bitch’s rant about gifts - but never has a woman mentioned her insatiable appetite for baby goods as a stand-alone status. Especially mid-registry. Melissa’s got some balls! FYI, Melissa: If your friends haven’t bought you much yet, they’re sure as hell not going to now.
(submitted by Anonymous)
Ohhh, moms. I’m glad mine isn’t on Facebook. She’s a gregarious lady, but when it comes to technology she’s not the brightest crayon in the box (sorry, Mom!). If she did have an account, though, she wouldn’t post this. She just doesn’t care enough. Half the time she calls to wish me a happy birthday at like 10:45pm. And that’s the way I like it.
Tom here - his mom is ALL ABOUT his birthday. This nostalgic photo probably doesn’t scratch the surface. She probably called him around 7am, right after shipping off a batch of Birthday Cookies in the shape of his favorite comic book characters. Aww. Moms. Too bad for “Tom-Tom,” though. His private area isn’t exactly pronounced, but he sure is nekkid in this cute photo!
(submitted by Anonymous)
Comment Of The Week
“Vadgesty! Is that the queen’s vagena? You will bow down to our royal vadgesty or we will pull out your short hairs.”
- pixie721 wrote in response to Blondie regarding the Scariest Post Evar.
For those who have been following the story of Vadgesty Foxi Maiden and Vagena Tamphen Pohtaytar, you know it’s the stuff Grimm’s Fairy Tales are made of. Someone even unearthed a Yahoo! Answers question about the kids’ names. There have been endless jokes such as, “You say “Pohtaytar,” I say, “Pohtahtar.” Let’s call the whole thing off.” Not to mention “fruitful” discussions about names readers have come across over the years: Tropicana, Daiquiri, Trumpet III, Diarrhea, and siblings Pepsi and Cola.
In summary, this post inspired so many jokes that my Pimp Chalice overfloweth. But only one person can reign supreme, and I’m happy to award Pixie - one of the most hilarious and brazen commenters on the blog - with that honor. Congrats, Pixie! Enjoy pimpin’ this week!
Mom’s Gold Star
Paul’s somewhat schizophrenic message really cracks me up. “Can’t wait to hang out with my punk of a son. Such a great kid!”
Tell it like it is, Paul! No one’s here to disagree with you. Teenagers can drive a sane person crazy. They’re daily reminders that you made your parents batty for 5 years straight. I mean, kids get older - it’s unavoidable. But it still sucks.
Good luck and congrats, Paul! You win a day with your moody, belligerent, cocky, sarcastic little shit of a son. Treasure these moments.
(submitted by Anonymous)
Sounds like someone (*ahem* Rose) feels a little left out. Come on, Nikki - you know Rose asked to be included after last week’s rousing game of Find the Turd. She just wants to be part of things! Kind of like Jessica. It’s just her nature.
Although, in Nikki’s defense, games like Find the Turd can last anywhere from 30 seconds to several weeks, depending on the circumstances. Maybe this particular game was a quick one. The absolute worst is when poo balls roll under the fridge. Guh! I hate when that happens. Am I right, mommies? The joys of parenting!!!
(submitted by Anonymous)
I’ve heard about women who don’t know they’re pregnant or are in denial about being pregnant for several months of their pregnancy. TLC even has a show dedicated to the phenomenon of ‘not knowing.’ But what I haven’t heard is a story about a woman visiting a doctor to explore the changes occurring in her body only to be told that she has an unknown mass growing rather than a fetus. UMM?
Irregardless, why is this woman announcing her surprise via Facebook?! Shock value? If it were me, I’d send a private email explaining what a “wacky world” it is, hoping my friends wouldn’t think I’m insane. Not Nicole! Bring on the Q&A! You’ve got questions - she’s got half-assed answers! Q: “When did you find out?” A: “Thursday.” Q: “And how the f%ck are you just now finding out that you’re 28 weeks along??” A: “The first ‘doctor’ I went to said I had a mass growing in my stomach. That mass turned out to be a baby.” Hmmm, OK, thanks for the explanation! When’s the shower? A year after the baby’s born?
(submitted by Anonymous)
