You know what really gets my goat? My hardass uterus. Bitch be getting hard if I just lean down to pick up the remote control! Forget about doing my laundry or the dishes. I swear, my uterus is the hardest, laziest organ EVER.
I’ve tried everything to get it to come around. I told my uterus that I would take it to a fancy dinner and a movie, that I would write it a poem and recite it from the mountain tops. I even tried tough love and called it a useless piece of crap. Nothing works. It’s just a hard, cruel, overly sensitive (if you ask me!) uterus. Sigh.
(submitted by K.)